Its a boy! [April Fools Day 2012] Welcome! Honor Alexander Martens

Im writing this for myself. Im writing this for Jess. Im writing this for those who are parents already. Im writing this for those who are yet to be parents… most of all I am writing this for Honor in hopes that some day we will click and look back on this and smile. I am a photographer… this is me.  My parents documented my entering into the world in this same way, only without the written words. It was a different time back then and I was born at home, naturally. Things could have gone so wrong but they didnt. That was fortunate. The photos taken that day show the joy felt and the fear that may have been there that they denied or forgot. I had the same goal in mind when I set out to shoot this.

 

 

TO SEE MORE OF THIS AMAZING DAY YOU HAVE TO CLICK THE LINK BELOW.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, parenthood is a crazy thing. The ones who know, know… and the ones who dont? Well I can’t wait till you find out so you can nod your head to this. Parents say they would do anything for their kids, its true. And its impossible explain the level of unconditional love felt. The way a soft glance of the eyes cut straight to your core. The way just the flickering thought of your child can make you smile in most any situation. Until you experience it yourself, everything I’m saying is just words, nothing more. IF you have a child then I challenge you to try this…. close your eyes, picture your childs face. Seriously, do it now  [stay in that place as long as you ‘d like, dont continue on until you are finished]

 

If you did then it is impossible right now for you not to be smiling. Its that easy to get joy. I mean the deepest level of joy and no words will ever explain it and every attempt just falls short. Jessica said she used Avalons beautiful expression from a recent picture we took [burned into memory] to get her through the most frightening portions of this delivery. Amidst fear, Avi led Jess to her “happy place” and she needed every bit of that to get through.

 

It started off like any other day. We kinda joked about how cool it would be for us to have an April Fools baby… but there were no signs that it would come today any more than it would come next week. Jessicas due date was March 29th so we had that on our side but that date is just estimated… the body is on its own time. So I went out for a bike ride around town with my good friend [ Temecula Wedding Photographer ] Ryan of RTM <end of shameless plug>  We were cruising Temecula when I got a call from Jess that I needed come home soon and that she was having contractions. Ok, well last time she had 2 days of pre labor. [girls you might know what this is]  Guys this is sharp piercing pain [contractions] every half hour or so for days. Makes it impossible to sleep without waking up… The contractions get closer and closer together until they are coming in waves about 1-2 minutes apart for over an hour… and thats when you know its GO! time [put that in your memory bank all you dads to be]  Our last time at the hospital we checked in at midnight and Avalon didnt come out until later that day @ 5:30 pm, thats right it took 17 hours.  Needless to say I knew I had time to kill. Still, I told Ryan we needed to start heading back.

 

Just about 15 minutes later Jessica called again. This time she was in tears and there was fear in her voice. I just remember  “Im bleeding”. Really thats all it took. I hung up and jumped on my bike pedaling harder than ever, off and over curbs dodging through intersections pushing continuously till my legs nearly gave out. I was only a few miles from home with fear fueling me, I couldnt push hard enough… finally the last part was a massive hill to our house and I decided to ride down the middle of the street and flag down the first truck I that drove up. I muttered incoherently out of breath and the guy told me to throw the bike in back. I got a lift the rest of the way and busted through the front door. My mom showed up minutes after and it was off to the hospital.

 

We made it in fine and called ahead so the room was ready. Jess was hooked up to monitors and in a hospital gown in minutes and prepared for the next step.

 

 

 

So far so good. We made it to the hospital. I was excited and planning on doing a birthing story. Prepared, my bag was packed with a 50mm, 35mm and 24tilt. I had enough cards to shoot video of the whole thing if I wanted and batteries last a week. I had seen a birth story that Jonas Peterson did at a VSCO workshop I attended and was totally inspired by it. I had shot Avalons birth well but after seeing the way Jonas did his thing I wanted a 2nd crack at it… and as you can see it started off pretty good. But less than 10 minutes after we got into the delivery room things took a turn and got way too serious. The camera just wasnt appropriate anymore. I had to set it down and deal with things head on, not through a lens.

 

Early on in the pregnancy we were told that Jess would NOT be allowed to go to her due date, she would need a C-section at least one week prior due to a condition called Placenta Previa. She was diagnosed Type IV. I left you a link if you arent familiar with the term, I know before this I wasnt. Growing up I had seen in movies where women would die during child birth, often the baby too. I wondered how that was. Well, this is it. <[the breakdown] >  With this condition the placenta attaches itself over the opening the baby has to pass through, essentially blocking it. When labor starts the force of the baby getting pushed through will tear the placenta from the wall and come out first. This is called Placental Abruption. When that happens two things can take place: massive internal bleeding [killing mother] and when the placenta detaches the baby is cut off of of oxygen causing distress [killing baby]. This was a problem in the days before ultra sounds and C-sections. Now its easily detected and in cases like this they plan for a C-section to avoid complications. So she had been initially been set to do a C-section, however, at the 30 week ultrasound we were told the condition had cleared itself up. As the uterus had grown, the placentia had moved out of the way enough for her to have a natural birth. We were thrilled. And thats what got us to where we were at this point.

 

Well, we had been in the room under 10 minutes and I had taken photos above. The contractions were coming hard every 2 minutes [or less] and with each one that came Jess lost more blood. Its pooling up on a pad shes sitting on in the bed. Im standing at the top of the bed at this point, the sight of the blood makes me queasy. I had to set the camera down. The mood in the room had changed and things were not going as planned but still the baby’s heartbeat is strong so they assure us everything will be fine. We have nurses in the room who seem worried but cant make a decision till the doc gets in. My Mom [ER nurse of 30 years] is kinda pacing around, shes worried about the way things are going and the amount of blood coming out of Jess. She’s coming unglued that its been almost 10 minutes and we still havent seen a doc. Mom demands a doc get in the room and when she does [within minutes] everything begins moving very quickly. I cant remember this portion too well, its kind of a blur, the next thing I know they are reading us a script they have to read you on the dangers of the surgery. Yet the dangers of not doing it are far greater, we didnt really have a choice. Im holding Jessica’s hand as shes laying in bed rolled quickly down a hall to be prepped for surgery. Im told I cant go any further and I kiss her forehead and tell her I love her, everything is going to be ok. I can see in her eyes she scared to death.

 

The parents and I hang out in a waiting area and a nurse walks in and hands me some scrubs. She tells me that if everything takes with the spinal block she will not be put under and can remain awake… If so then I will be able to go in to the room with her. Get ready. The parents are optimistic and give encouraging words. I climb in my scrubs and wait for the word.

 

As you can see I was able to bring the camera in. Glad I did, it all happened so fast. I just remember walking in the room and being told where I could sit [right next to Jess] head side of the curtain. I held her hand, she held back tears. A doc walks up and leans over speaking in a low voice catching me up. Contractions had caused abruption and it looked like the cord may be wrapped, they were about to pull our baby out. A crying screaming baby was a good thing but that may not be the case and he may need resuscitation. Before I had time to process that thought I heard a squeal. I looked over the curtain and he was being hoisted out. I saw the fattest, bloodiest, most beautiful thing I could’ve hoped to have seen. Honor Alexander was born kicking ‘n screaming… weighing in at 8lbs 3oz.

 

After he came out the room was buzzing as they ran all the usual tests. The picture below is great. I only wish I would have gotten it in focus. A doc holding Honor walks up to the top side of the curtain and holds him up to Jess for her to kiss and see face to face. I am holding the camera up high over the two of them hoping to catch the moment. What I do catch [although blurry] pretty much sums it up. The joy of a mother seeing her son for the first time all the while on the other side of a curtain organs are being put back into place and she is being unknowingly sewn back up. At this point I was told to go with the baby to a unit where they would do further cleanup and tests. I sat there with my little man for a 1/2 hr or so in the NICU while they measured, weighed, fingerprinted, took blood and all kinds of other things. I was surrounded by at least 2 dozen sterile enclosures. This is where they kept all of the sick babies, the premature births, the ones with complications that might not make it. I was saddened, humbled, grateful and thankful all at the same time… in that moment, as his little hands grabbed my finger, the reality of everything that had just happened set in and I was overwhelmed by it all… knowing just how lucky I was.

 

The rest of the pictures [all the way to the end] are some of the most special pictures I have ever taken.

 

 

I have a whole new level of respect. For Jessica, for my mom, for mothers everywhere. The stuff women go through to have a baby is amazing… and not just the delivery, the whole process. I am a guy, I will never know what its like to experience any of this and Im convinced that if it were up to us [guys] to give life the population would be far less than it is. For me just witnessing all that I did is enough to make me say “we are finished making babies.” I was blessed with a healthy son on April Fools day by a wife that has more strength and bravery than I have ever given her credit for. Jessica I am so proud and in awe of you. To our son: I am so thankful that you made it into our lives. Your Mother was in the hospital for a few days recovering from surgery and during this time the doctor who delivered you came in to congratulate us and tell us how lucky we were and had we gotten there 30 minutes to an hour later things would have been a whole lot different. I cant help but take those words and ponder them now. Your Mommy, Daddy, Sister and Grandparents love you so much. Little man you are our world and we look forward to all the years ahead and the joy that you will bring us. We cant wait to see the amazing person you become.