Window Light

We have been putting off doing a maternity shoot for a good while now but it was starting to get ridiculous. A day before her due date and about as big as she could possibly be, I made Jess pose for me. I really wanted to do something different with this one. Simple but beautiful artistic pregnancy photos. These didnt even require getting made up or anything, the fresh out the shower /no makeup look was fine and I photographed this set focused entirely on the belly using the tilt shift and 16-35. Quick and easy preggo photos using natural window light. They came out great!

 

 

 

Continue reading Window Light

Lotto

I played the lotto tonight. $640 million up for grabs, why not? Well.. I didnt win… but word on the street is there is at least one winning ticket out there. Somebody won. I cant even imagine what that would mean.

 

When I was a kid I used to play video games and there was this game called Sim City. It was fun. You had a plot of land which you developed into a town and eventually a functioning city. The challenge in this is the fact that you had a limited budget in which to develop with. You had to grow the city, bring in revenue in which to reinvest and build more. There was strategy involved and you faced the usual problems of a city: crime, pollution, taxes etc. Building the city in proper form so that there was enough commercial development to support the residential growth and so on. The game was fun and challenging… until I found out about the cheat for $999,999,999.99

 

Once that happened EVERYTHING changed. Now I was able to do anything I wanted in the game. The rules no longer applied and there was no real challenge. Build anything at will and if something wasnt working out just bulldoze and start over. I played the game a bit longer but grew tired of it and took it out… I havent played the game since, dont know that I ever would again. I can only think thats what happens in life if you were to win the lottery. The rules of life change. The day to day challenges faced are gone and potentially a whole new set of challenges face you. I’ve heard about stories of past lottery winners saying that the $$$ ruined their lives. I can’t even imagine what it would be like but I dont doubt the truth of these claims. Imagine never needing to do anything and having the financial freedom to do anything. Its crazy. The struggles faced day to day are the things that force us to grow as individuals. Money being a primary motivator, without that push what would happen? Would it take the fun out of it? It would certainly take the challenge out.

 

I’m not sure I want that and you know once you go there you can’t ever go back. Would I still have the same friends? Live in the same place? have the same career? probably not. EVERYTHING would change. My kids would grow up to be different, I would be different… and I’d like to think we could remain humbled and they would not grow up to be [like many rich kids are] bratty, spoiled and worst of all expecting. But it could happen. I’d rather them grow up from humbled roots with motivation to build a life, not be handed one.  Now Im just writing this out, rambling off the top of my head the thoughts that come to me but you know what? I think I kinda like the struggle. I like the challenge. Life isnt easy, there are unexpected surprises and struggles, wants and desires and growth that comes from each hurdle that is overcome. I feel like those things build character and help to define us as a people. To have no struggle, no seemingly unattainable wants or desires cause everything is at your finger tips and easily bought… That would suck! Now in the same breath I will say that there is nothing wrong with riches and financial security that is EARNED. I believe the struggle along the way to earning such a thing prepares us for it. My biggest dilemma is WINNING all that money now at this point in life. Having all that thrown at me undeserving could potentially have serious negative consequences.

 

I like my life as it is now, a wedding photographer in Temecula. Sure it would be nice to have unlimited money in which to do anything I think up, Ive always been resourceful… I could think up a lot of good things to do with the money and ways to better myself, my friends, my family as well as others I come into contact with… but in the end, like Sim City, the challenge and ultimately the appeal would be lost and I’d have to find ways to get it back. And I think once you go to certain points, cross certain lines and hurdle certain barriers there just might not be any going back. Guess I really wouldnt know till I won… but as of now I dont think I’ll ever play the lottery again… think I’d be afraid to win and discover that life just might not be all its cracked up to be.

that time before things change

I’m sitting here thinking about how great a ride life has been. The changes over the past 2 years have been beyond anything  I could have ever expected. It was about two and a half years ago that Jess and I had just decided to give this wedding photography thing a go. I quit my job to pursue the dream and slowly started getting things going when Jessica got pregnant with Avalon. I can still remember it vividly.

 

I had just gotten back from a long and liberating road trip with Jessicas cousin. Chris and I were driving a load of stuff down from a remote town in Alaska [relocating Jessicas grandma] through Canada to a home just purchased in California. Driving long shifts, each night we’d park out front of bars and truck stops along the way grab a few drinks and then climb in amongst the load in the back of a pull along trailer and sleep. Oh and we had her dog with us too.  This was no camping trailer… no sinks or beds, nope, this was more like a uhaul. A long hallow steel storage unit. That made it all that much more fun though. It was so inspiring for me, quitting my job, hitting the open road and having this sense of total freedom. When I finally got home and walked in the door I was excited to tell her about our adventure;. She was excited to tell me other news. I had no idea everything was about to change.

 

We had recently moved into a new house which we were renting from her mom. Under the sink Jessica had one pregnancy test… with no box. It got discarded in the move. She took the test and when the results came up she didnt know what it meant since there was no box to reference… but she had a feeling she knew the answer. So when I got home she showed me a stick which had 2 lines, she told me she thought she was pregnant. I was stunned, definitely the last thing I ever expected to be waiting for me walking in from this trip. I didnt give her the reaction she wanted, you know the one in the movies when the guy whisks up the wife/ girlfriend and twirls her around excitedly and they start celebrating and picking out names!? Yeah, I think I might have actually done the opposite of that. My head was in a panic. Sure, I was happy, but then the logical side kicked in… we had no jobs to support this baby, literally just starting up the wedding photography business. We rushed down to the local CVS and picked up another test. She pee’d on both the sticks in the box. Positive [ x’s 2]  and It was official my world was about to change.

 

And it did. The next day I was on craigslist writing ads up. “We will shoot your wedding for FREE!”  Seriously, it went something like that… cause although we knew how to shoot, we didnt know the flow of a wedding. There are no repeats, no do overs. You gotta be where you need to be when you need to be there. People are trusting in you to land important moments and we had no portfolio to show to get bookings. We needed some ASAP, it was sink or swim we had to make it happen. We shot 3 for free then started charging $600, $800, $1200 and so on… raising it every 5 or so weddings. We photographed over 50 weddings the first year, probably closer to 60. It was INSANE. But we were having fun and making the dream come true.

 

Avalon was born and with that my world changed once again. That experience there is worthy of so many more blog posts and I’m sure I’ll come back to all that soon enough but for now all I can say is there is no better choice we could have made for our “career” just a few months prior. These past couple years with her we have been there every step of the way. Her first words, first steps, first everything! Being a photographer has allowed us to work from home and only be away “working” a few days a month. The rest of the time we spend at home, together, as a family. She has never once been to a daycare and has been fortunate to always be around family and friends who love her. Jess and I are both only children so since this was the first grand baby we literally had two VERY supportive sets of grandparents fighting over who could watch her on the weekends that we had weddings. There is no way we could have done it without them and Im so thankful for all the love, help and support we have received.

 

This brings me to now… Jessica is pregnant again. This time with our son. We got our 1 and 1. We have our dogs. American dream right? The 2.5 kids in suburbia, minus the white picket fence. We have had a nice little break and a chance to get things in order. For the new baby, for the business. Jessica’s due date is today [March 29th] and these past few days we have been enjoying life as it is currently… knowing its all about to change again. Its on both our minds. It could happen any moment now.

 

Waiting for the baby bomb to drop is a crazy thing. You are ready, then you’re not. Then you think everything is in order again… and realize theres more you wanna do before. You know things will never be the same way they are now. You welcome it. At the same time you are slightly scared by this thought. This must be what happens with an awareness of the pivotal points in life. I want to remember this moment, right here in the now is an amazing place to be. So thats why Im writing this. A friend told me today I should. I want to be able to look back on all this some day and just be right back in this moment: Uncertainty. Excitement. Anticipation. I know what I have coming to me in the future but I’m in no rush to get there. I witness a sliver of it at every wedding I photograph. I watch Dad walk his daughter down the aisle, dancing the father daughter dance, he’s trying not to cry. He tells me that it all goes by too fast. I dont believe him, but Im not there yet…  in his mind its the truth. My journey is just beginning and some day I will be him. Walking Avalon down the aisle, dancing that dance.  Let me hold on to this moment now. The anticipation. The anxious feeling. It’s 11:11 on Tuesday, jess is asleep. Shes tired and understandably so, its crazy to think about a little life growing inside of you. Im a guy, thats all I can do is think and wonder what it is like. She experiences it, he wakes her up, he is moving inside her. She is uncomfortable and says she is ready to do this… and at the same time a little scared. All I can do is be supportive. I’m clueless to what she has to go through and she knows it, but still I tell her not to worry… shes got it. everything will be fine. She goes back to bed. Tonight is not the night and we will wait till her body decides our little man is ready. When he is then so are we…  the next chapter begins.

 

and until then… I am just enjoying every single moment in that time before things change.

 

temecula maternity

 

a night with my girls making cake pops

This was a fun night just hangin out with my girls. Cake pops are the rage right now! We see em all the time in dessert bars at weddings we photograph. They make for great little gifts and are suuuuuuuper easy to make…. besides, what are you gonna do with all the leftover cake bits after shaving and shaping your cake? Throw it all away? yeah right. The idea behind creating amazing cake pops is to take all the left over shavings and pieces of cake that werent used and balling em up with frosting and dipping them into chocolate [with sticks]. Seriously amazing chewy goowy treats. I told Jess that if this wedding photography thing doesnt work out for some reason she could always open a cake shop. Avalon would agree with me, mommy makes some delicious desserts.

 

cakepop